1. |
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i’m not giving up
i’m not giving in
but i’m not gonna get up
i’m gonna stay in
i wont win the morning
i wont win the day
i wont even try to
and i wont feel ashamed
i won't go to school
i won't go to work
i won't be productive at all
and it won't hurt
i’ll get through the day
just do the least
drink plenty of water
remember to eat
this is enough
i don’t need more
you shouldn’t either
life isn’t a sport
i might write a song
i might write two
i might write nothing
i don’t do it for you
you could call it selfish
i wouldn’t disagree
but first things first
i gotta look after me
but i feel fine
i feel kinda great
it’s quite liberating
to have nothing on my plate
you don’t need to worry
i don’t need help
i’ve embraced the condition
i’ve drank from the cup
i used to fight it
work hard and take meds
but i’m not gonna deny it
this is who i am
this isn’t improvement
this is acceptance
i know what my life is gonna be
and i won’t end it
i feel at ease
at home with my pain
it’s nothing dramatic
i’m really okay
i'm really okay
i'm really okay
i'm really okay
i'm really okay
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2. |
michael cera, serotonin
03:05
|
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every time that i do drugs
i remember why i don’t
i can just be anxious for free from the comfort of home
they don't make me want to dance
or give me ego death
they just make me want to curl up
in my unmade bed
feel depressed for the next three days
what the fuck for
you don’t make friends or memories
in the toilet cubicle
chew lots of gum and sit down
for hours at a time
i do not feel good
i should’ve stuck to red wine
too artsy for the footy kids
too footy for the art ones
i just do this shit because i'm too awkward to say no
not because its fun
michael sera serotonin
que sera sera serotonin
michael sera serotonin
que sera sera serotonin
michael sera serotonin
que sera sera serotonin
michael sera serotonin
que sera sera serotonin
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3. |
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i could never kill myself
i could never do it
because
i have a lot of love to give
and i mean a lot
i have a lot of love to give
and i intend to give it
but sometimes
it would be nice
to receive some too
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4. |
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the junkies junk
the killers kill
motherfuckers mother fuck
and the dealers deal
the hopeless lose hope
the dickheads dick
the stoners stone
until they're lunatics
the crackheads crack
the buyers buy
the rapists rape
the passers by pass by
the murderers murder
the starving starve
the preachers preach
in a bastard's bar
the dead stay dead
the repulsive repulse
the mongrels mung
on insulters insults
the walkers walk
the runners run
the beginning has ended
the end has begun
the poor stay poor
the rich get richer
dogs live dogma
men live by scripture
the diabolical die
by alcohol
the sufferers suffer
the revolting revolt
the grotesque grow
the disgusting disgust
the vermin are in
the gutter's gut
the wankers wank
the rotten rot
the obscene are seen
the shocking shock
the stupid stoop down
the lowly lie low
the uppers keep you up
until they don't
the junkies junk
the killers kill
motherfuckers motherfuck
and the dealers deal
some things stop
some things don't
some things should
but they won't
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5. |
a love song
02:19
|
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my girlfriend often asks me
i darling
when will you write a love song for me?
but
when you're in love
(and i am)
every song you write is a love song
every poem you write is a love poem
every movie that you watch is a romance
everything becomes romantic
and a little bit more human
and more beautiful
when you're in love
like reading the newspaper
and doing the quiz on a sunday morning
catching a tram
buying groceries
going to sleep
and waking up
cooking eggs
and eating them
making the bed
and unmaking it
and sex
sex
sex
cups of tea
painting your fingernails
washing the dishes
there is love everywhere
in everything you do
when you're in love
i know this
because i am in love
and it
it is magic
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6. |
i can't cry part 1
03:48
|
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i've watched my grandfather cry
i spoke at his funeral
had plenty of friends suicide
melancholy is not unusual
but none of it brings me to tears
maybe i am immune
maybe there's something wrong with me
maybe i'm just being rude
i want to cry
i don't know how
my father never taught me
but i can drink a beer
throw a punch
grit my teeth
and kick a footy
i once got dumped on my birthday
i watch the news every night
i've been angry
i've been anxious
and i've been in pain
i've said a lot of goodbyes
but none of it brings me to tears
maybe i am immune
maybe there's something wrong with me
maybe i'm just being rude
i want to cry
but i don't know how
my father never taught me
but i can drink a beer
throw a punch
grit my teeth
and kick a footy
i can drive a manual
and i can grow a moustache
i can change a tyre
i've been in plenty of scraps
i can lift heavy stuff
i can ride a bike
i can chop onions
i only cut my face shaving sometimes
and i can tie a tie
and i can tie a tie
i just can't fucking cry
i just can't fucking cry
i want to cry
but i don't know how
my father never taught me
but i can drink a beer
throw a punch
grit my teeth
and kick a footy
i want to cry
but i don't know how
my father never taught me
but i can drink a beer
throw a punch
grit my teeth
and kick a footy
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7. |
i can't cry part 2
04:33
|
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i can't cry
i don't know how
i get sad and everything
but the tears just don't come
i can't cry
but if i could
i would
i'd cry on my birthday
and on my mother's birthday
and on christmas and good friday
thinking about poor jesus christ
i'd cry at the movies
and cafes
and car dealerships
i'd cry at weddings
and funerals
and baptisms
and housewarming parties
and going away parties
and bar mitzvahs
i'd cry when i see an old man walking slowly through northcote with his old beige suit and his wrinkles and his cigarette
i'd cry when i practice violin
and when i read the news
when i cut vegetables
when i cook them
and when i give a hug
i'd cry when i listen to julien baker
or daniel johnston
or debussy
or my grandmother on the phone
i'd cry when i take a sip of carlton draught
or peppermint tea
i'd cry when i pray
which is not very often
i'd cry when carlton win the footy
and when they lose
i'd cry at airports
and protests
and train stations
and beaches
i'd cry at the sunday flea markets
and on the floor of a pub bathroom
i'd cry in taxis
in bed
and in the bath
i'd cry in style
in my mothers arms
in danger
in libraries
in churches
in public
i'd cry in hotel lobbies
and supermarket aisles
i'd cry when i see the moon
and the stars
and ladybugs
and naked bodies
and sunflowers
and rainbows
and canola fields
and a movers' truck on the highway
and christmas lights
i'd cry when i get a haircut
when i shave and cut my face
i'd cry when i tie a tie
i'd cry when i wear makeup
i'd cry when i ride a bike down a hill
and when i have my photo taken
i'd cry when i piss
i'd cry when i read sappho
and chitty chitty bang bang
and the bible
and kim addonizio
i'd cry when i'm driving home in the dark and my mate falls asleep in the passenger seat
i'd cry when i think about heath ledger
or kobe bryant
or sylvia plath
or ian curtis
or brittany murphy
or joan of arc
or river phoenix
or charlotte dawson
or phillip seymour hoffman
or august ames
or giles corey
or chris benoit
or edgar allen poe
i'd cry when i think about my primary school buddy named daniel
he was grade 1 when i was grade 6
i'm not sure if you know the concept of buddies but like we get assigned one at the start of the year
we help them out and say hello to them in the playground
maybe once a week our class would go into his class and hang out and help with work
and maybe once a term or something we'd do some extra fun stuff like laser tag or go get mcdonald's
and after school i forgot that he existed
until last year
when i heard he had a car accident
he was driving his little brother home from their grandparents house and hit a tree
his brother survived
he didn't
it's probably a good thing i can't cry
if i could
i'd never stop
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jakson Canberra, Australia
jakson is a musical project by jakson. varying from noisy post-punk, to eclectic freak folk.
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